Re-Communing with Spirit

I remember my mother being quite the witch growing up. It was her answer to our childhood inquiries on how she always knew things like when we were lying, or upset. She would say, "You know I'm a witch," in answer to our awe and dismay. As her child, I accepted this answer and quite honestly felt somewhat empowered by having a mother who was a self-claimed witch. I remember thinking she was just naturally powerful. It wasn't until I was older that I realized that while she had natural leanings, it was the ritual of prayer that kept her fortified. It was also the lack of ritual that eventually led to her dimmed inner light that shone brightly when I was younger. Those moments of "dimness" happen to me from time to time and when I become aware of this fact, I realize that I have "fallen off" and must re-engage with Spirit.

At one point, I started each day with a tarot pull to help ground me in "the now". I do a simple three-card spread where each pulled card represents: the dominant energy for the day, the players involved and how I might be affected. The ritual was less about "prediction" and more about awareness and intention setting. The pulls empowered me with the information to gauge the people and happenings around me, it was like the first time I put on prescription glasses and wondered, "Did I always see so clearly?" As I slipped away from this particular ritual, I became foggy and unorganized. In not carving out time for this very simple ritual, I lost focus.

This is not to say that before tarot pulls I was clueless, but I am finding that as I expand in my higher self, there are tools that become a necessary part of my journey. While I can sense things without having used a pulled card, to start the day without my ritual is the equivalent of not stretching before a run. While I will be able to complete the run in both cases, the instance where I didn't stretch beforehand, means more soreness and pain later.

"Falling off" is a very common thing and very much part of the human existence. The issue of consistency is one that has been a lifetime struggle. I know that without consistent ritual I lose my ability to be active in the spiritual realm, but it doesn't make staying the course any easier. When we don't engage Spirit actively, we lose the ability to tap into Spirit easily, especially when we most need it. This is something I am learning and in doing so, understanding what it takes to re-commune when I have lapsed.

In September, things sort of "fell apart" for me. If I had been doing my daily pulls consistently, I probably would have pulled the Tower card at some point. There was drastic change that affected me in so many ways and I had a bit of a breakdown. Whie this breakdown was not necessarily visible to those around me, it profoundly affected my ability to tap into Spirit. There was fear and anger and a host of other emotions that I found very difficult to engage. I just shutdown and shifted to autopilot. It wasn't until recently that I was able to step back and breathe a little. I looked up and my space was dim, light was not being created from the inside and I was relying on Spirit for EVERYTHING. I was just trying to survive and in those moments of desperation, I let go of those rituals that had previously kept me awake and aware. I essentially, fell asleep.
I "woke up" in early December as I prepared a presentation on my life story, or at least part of it. I looke around and noiced how dull everything was. My altars were not as clean as they should be. I wasn't burning candles like normal and my spiritual work station was collecting dust. That morning I cleaned, did yoga and pulled three cards. Just like that, I felt renewed and energized. In reviewing my notes from previous pulls, I noticed I had not consistently pulled for over a month. The first pull of my renewal, spoke of an end of a cycle and new lessons to be learned.

While I am still working my way back to center, I see how the cards inform and how ritual pulling, much like wearing bindis, forces me to focus. Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. I have endured life without her physical presence for 16 years and I want to honor her on her birthday with a special initiation ritual that will humble me before Spirit and renew my path on this plane.

Re-Communing with Spirit is not hard, but it does require humility and the acknowledgement of how your spiritual absence affects your abilities. Everyone is diffrent, but here are a few suggestions:

• CLEAN: Spiritual work of any kind cannot be properly done in an unclean environment. Wash ritual clothes and tool, empty incense holders of ash, clean away dust, etc. Sage is a great way to cleanse with smoke, but sometimes things need physical cleansing as well, so use a little elbow grease and remember that energy must flow throughout. A cluttered or unclean space = stagnant energy.
  
  
• REESTABLISH RITUALS: Whether it is daily tarot pulls, seated or walking meditation, bring back those personal rituals that you used to do. Focus on those rituals that left you energized and focused. Communing with spirit is different for everyone, so find those practices that speak to you and jump right in!
  
  
• FORGIVE: Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves that we can't get past our own egos, which is really what forgiveness is allabout. So you slipped up, so what? Once you awaken, forgive yourself and keep it moving.
  
  
• ENJOY: There is joy in a good yoga practice, a sweet smelling incense, a beautifully cast spell or heartfelt prayer. Spirit should not be treated as this brick wall that you must smack yourself against. Instead view Spirit as a non-judgemental force that gives you what you ask for. Nothing done is nothing received, so enjoy the love and energy that is Spirit and you will find that it will be easily returned.

SIDENOTE: I started this post two days ago and am just now finishing it up. Right now, I should be in Florida visiting family. I had a standby ticket and the flights which were open two days ago, were oversold by the time I arrived . After two failed attempts to get on a flight, I decided to go home. Before I left the house, I felt compelled to light a white candle on my personal altar to serve as my "beacon" while I was away. I did my three-card pull and the card representing the dominant energy for the day was The Hermit. It was hard to be frustrated by the day's outcome with such prior knowledge.

IA