Personal Responsibility: Energy Shifts With a Punch!

I met with some of my students today as they prepare for their impending final exams. As a community college instructor, I am constantly aware of the energies of my students and often have to guard myself in the teaching process. It can be very taxing being around people, who essentially and genuinely "need" you. The neediness increases or decreases depending on the student, but I find that the closer we get to the final submissions, the more spent the teaching and meeting sessions leave me.

Today, I met with a student who about two months ago sent an email expressing just how desperate she was to pass the course. We set up a meeting and she didn't show. She had had a family emergency and was unable to attend the meeting. In her previous email, she was concerned about her grades and made it clear that she didn't have the money to take the class over, so she really wanted feedback. I told her to reschedule when she was ready and we never met--until today. Tomorrow is the last day for her and her peers to submit the assignments which will determine their final grades. The last assignment was assigned about two and a half weeks ago and has been the focus of the class ever since. Throughout the assignment process, I have repeatedly asked for drafts and offered in-class help to students with questions. This student along with a few others, never once produced a written draft of any kind.

As we were reviewing her paper, I could feel her tension and anger as I pointed out all of the errors and made it very clear that she was in danger of failing the assignment. At one point, it looked like she was going t o cry. I stopped and looked at her and said, " I have to say I am very disappointed that the day before the final is due you are just now bringing me something to look at." I went on to remind her of her email, failure to reschedule and the weeks that passed by with me reviewing papers in class, none of which, were hers. She of course had no response, but it struck me in that moment how her energy changed. Before I made my appeal, there was outward irritation towards me as I reviewed her mistakes. When I pointed out her lack of effort, there was a change, a shift that landed the previously outward energy squarely in her center core. She, in that moment, realized that if she failed it was no one's fault but her own.

We are our own responsibility. Ultimately, failures and successes are largely determined by how much of ourselves we put into a situation. True failure is not a simple "A" or "F" as in the above case. It's about genuine effort. Too many times, we try to look to Spirit as if to say, "How could you let this happen?" As if Spirit told us to buy shoes instead of pay a bill, or stay out late when we knew we had an early flight. We live in a world where personal responsibility is easily dismissed in an effort to shift the blame (insert government bailout example here). However, in keeping things true and honest, too many times WE are the reasons for failed relationships, unpaid bills, unfinshed projects, etc. The key is to accept and take responsbility for how much effort we put forth, and work towards the center.

Tomorrow that same student who experienced that brief moment of clarity will submit her final papers. From now until 9 am tomorrow, the difference between her success and failure will depend largely on what she does with the feedback she was given. In the end, will it be an issue of blame or responsibility? Time will tell as with all things, but in the short term, so will her final grade.

IA